I experience an odd sensation whenever I go swimming (my exercise of choice). I always have negative thoughts about being in the UK, often while dodging the 200 other people in my lane, who are also probably wondering why on earth the mid afternoon session is so busy when most people should be at work (I work odd hours, but I work).
So with that in mind and a hellish journey home in Bristol’s traffic clogged streets after almost going to war in the supermarket with other trolley pushers, I thought I would channel that negative energy into a post on WN.
Being an experienced online journalist of sorts I am of course going to balance it up with the positive side of living in this wee nation but you will have to wait for that installment.
Don’t panic. I am not going to suggest that all immigrants should be drowned in the English Channel or that people below a certain IQ should be prevented from having children. In fact I am not going to blame anyone.
The reason I cannot blame anyone is that I understand fully why an Iraqi might like to live in Stevenage (kinda!), why the Government wants to attract more young overseas talent and I sort of understand why Chaz and Maz might think it’s clever to have 20 children so they can claim £2m of tax payers money in benefits and therefore not have to work.
Overcrowding is still something that strikes me every time I come home. One of the most annoying things is lack of facilities for the numbers of people. I am not going to suggest making the M25 motorway 50 lanes across to accommodate everyone’s 2.5 cars because I am not Jeremy Clarkson, but try getting a seat in a cafe anytime of the day in Bristol, or some space to swim in a pool or somewhere to park within 10 miles of your house!
I feel I must offer a solution to this. Yes I know that someone from Hong Kong would laugh in my face if I suggested that Britain was overcrowded but here goes; lets do something that we were rather good at a century or so ago. Let’s colonise and let’s do it in a big country with a similar population. Brittany will become New Britton and the M25 could be expanded over the channel. Allez!
2. Benefit’s Culture
I am not going to rant too much about this but had to mention it after I heard the following conversation at the pool today…
Chaz – You gonna get a job then?
Daz – Don’t need to mate
Chaz – How come?
Daz – wife’s expecting the 6th child.
3. Class & Snobbery
I know what you are thinking; you have already clearly poked fun at the, how can I put it, the people looking up the social ladder, rather than down it, but the class system in the UK is alive and well and I blame people at both extremes of the ladder for continuing this historic trait.
Snobs, chavs, poshies, whatever! No country in the world has such a class divide as Britain and from what I can see it’s only going to get worse, helped along by certain sections of the media.
4. UK Media
I hate the UK media but always tune into it, listen to it, watch it and read it, in fact I am a media junkie. I crave for something I hate!
Why do I hate it? Because it’s only purpose is to report bad news, put everyone in a negative mood and to make us feel generally like shit.
Having said that I don’t think this is unique to Britain.
5. The Weather
This was going to be a positive after yesterday’s glorious weather but the last two summers are still fresh in my memory. Still it’s not too bad if you don’t like extremes.
Well I feel better already and will keep my promise of balancing this wave of negativity up. Ranting is my therapy.
P.S. You don’t have to take my posts seriously.